Man, i love the City.

Jesus. As it stands its 2am, i have a class at 9am, on the fucking Sahara Desert, and i am just sat here blaspheming and listening to fucking Dido. Dido? I have no idea what my iTunes new obsession with her is all about… but i like it. Pfft, i dont really need to go tomorrow, I have been to the Sahara, its pretty i will give you that, not as hot as you would think but you cant have everything right? I must be the only person in history to go to Egypt and come back whiter then when i left. I wanted to be a modern-day Cleopatra, all tanned and powerful, minus the braids. No one looks good in braids. Well, my complete experience of the Sahara involved, I kid you not, being held at gun point for wanting to buy some crisps and being mugged in the middle of the desert by a small child, of a T-shirt. I experienced the real desert, there is nothing i can learn in a class room, I was there. I WAS THERE!!!

Also, between you and me, I shouldnt really be going back to uni anytime soon as, well, today i cried in geography. Like a mother fucking child. In my defence a baby got washed away in a massive mud slide. A BABY! Its mother was screaming. It was too much for me to take. Then a horse got washed away too. And you know that horrible look animals give you, when they are scared or they dont quite agree with something? Well, this horse was doing that, i could see it in its eyes, and it wasnt because he was thinking, “hmm, no. I dont really appreciate this. I’d rather not be washed away thank you very much.” No, this horse was fucking shit scared. It was fucking awful. This was a video we watched by the way. It was almost on parr with the god awful rape in Hans my Hedgehog.

THAT, is on the internet if you want to watch it. They cut out the rape of the princess by a man hedgehog, i think you will be glad to hear. He does however turn it to a bird in the TV version. God knows why. I’d like to say it was some sort of metaphor for his wrong doings in the book but that seems unlikely.

I went to Birmingham at weekend to visit my girlfriend. It was nice and i achieved something i can only be very proud of. If not proud, slightly ashamed. I got very drunk on the friday and on the saturday we went into Birmingham city and met up with Tor’s friend, Tash. We met her in the park. Now, i am sure it is common knowledge that i once vomited in this park, mostly because i was sat on a bench and the whole of Birmingham stood and watched as i vomited, wiped my mouth and then continued to eat my chips. HOWEVER, people, i have raised my standards. Lieessss i hear you say. This coming from the girl who once let my friend vomit all over me, who watched two of my friends run naked down a main road and then went on to spend the night sleeping in the centre of a bowling green, so i understand that you are wary as you cant get much more classy then that. This saturday however, sat in the park, surrounded by Zombies, i could feel myself going under. I knew that i would not vomit there and then (again), i refuse to be heckled by a few hundred emo’s dressed as Zombies. NO! So we went to a pub, and i vomited there. I missed the toilet but that is besides the point. This pub is the poshest place i have ever been, well, pub anyway. It used to be a theater. Oooo.. say it like Nicole Kidman: The Moulin Rough years and it sounds more impressive. It’s very pretty. Worst thing? I vomited, feeling very sorry for myself, i ended up squatting in the cubicle and sobbing quite loudly. I figured i best shape up and go find Tor and Tash who were getting the drinks in. So i go out, only to find a woman stood outside my cubicle. I had to cough and pretend it wasnt me. Difficult really with vomit around my mouth and tears streaming down my face. The sneaky little bitch though, sneaking in, making me belive i was alone in there. I should have fucking twatted her. But then again, i am weaker than a fucking new-born and i dont really have the stomach to glass somebody. Not at that very moment anyway.

I had every intention to do work today but after 12 full hours of Malcolm in the Middle i cant say i regret my day. I can say i regret going out of my way to get Cheryl Cole’s new album. I like the single, but the rest of it, well its wank really isnt it? I’d still shag her though. God.